The room was frigid and sterile, with bright fluorescent lights as I gazed at the pearl white ceiling. I was wearing a standard gown, awaiting the doctor’s entry for an exam. 150/100 was the blood pressure reading that kept echoing in my mind after the nurse took my vitals. I wasn’t too pleased with the scale’s evaluation of my current weight either, yet the blood pressure reading was most startling. 

I had a small migraine, but nothing earth-shattering. How could it be so high? I wondered. I feel fine. I actually had a great day today, been in a fantasmo space. (Yep, I said fantasmo.)  With a huge shrug of the shoulders and a long sigh, I just lay there quietly. I had made myself comfortable on the exam table and was quite impressed with the slip-resistant fuzzy socks I had been provided. With such stillness, I could have gone to sleep, except…the room was cold and I was immediately frustrated as I continued to replay those numbers over and over. At a time in my life, where positive things are happening, here is something else to pay attention to. But this one thing, I certainly could not ignore.

Not too long ago, I was in church and God was ministering to me. I was concerned about several things. You’ll hear that often. My mind often goes on several tangents and down multiple bulleted lists of responsibilities and obligations that I have. So when I was silently praying in a church service about better time management and renewed energy (among many things) and I heard God speak, “I will supply,” I revisited that same Word now… in this sanitized hospital chic space.  How will You supply now? What am I to do? — just a few pensive thoughts that danced around my mind.  He is still continuing to minister to me.

On this quest to learn to truly rest in God and fully engage in abiding in His presence, my prayers had taken a different form. Whereas I still pray for tangible things I need,  how to be a better mom, and others in need, my prayers here lately were more about being a better steward of my energy and time. If I’m to truly abide and rest in God, I have to have a greater source which I draw from. 

The scripture that the Holy Spirit brought to mind was an interesting take in my opinion. Perhaps you’ve heard of this story, about the Samaritan woman at the well who encounters Jesus. It is found in John 4 verses 1-42 (highlights from the woman’s one-on-one with Jesus are specifically noted in verses 1-30).

The most exciting and riveting portion of the story (for me) is when Jesus reads this woman’s mail and her response is: show you right!¹ The remaining part of the story ends with the woman leaving her jar at the well and running into town to tell others to “come and see a man who told me everything I ever did”²… Her testimony brings others to salvation.³

One major lesson in the story is the woman discovering that what she put her trust in was ill-placed; And as a result, her sense of puesdo-fulfillment was always short-lived and inefficient to meet her innate needs. The Samaritan woman really needed God and once she realized that only He could quench her spiritual thirst, her life and witness was never the same.

I’m like that woman, in that I’ve been seeking out sources of energy and time that have left me drained and running back in a perpetual state of thirst. My physical body was literally screaming out, STOP! Somewhere in the midst of all the busyness, I started to depend on my own reserves to sustain me. Remember anything we set on the throne of our hearts that isn’t God could certainly be an idol. I didn’t set out to do this, of course. Yet, I found myself at this moment in time.

God gave me a word to define this year, REST! And it seems I’ve been doing everything but that! Yet, God often speaks in the imperative. Let’s have a quick revisit to Language Arts 101. The imperative is a grammatical mood “that expresses a direct command, warning, instruction, or request.”⁴ Its commands contain an implied “you” to the recipient of that command, given by the speaker.

God said to me, “Rest” — meaning Jamie, you Rest! 

This doctor’s appointment was a gut-punching and sobering reality— the need for Jesus could not have been any clearer. I’ve been ignoring rest in ways that my body was now crying out desperately for relief. All the tasks. All the responsibilities. Something had to change, and quickly. If I’m honest with myself, I had noticed small instances of recurrent migraines here and there — that I just brushed off as circumstantial at the moment; It was easier that way than to admit something might be going on with my health.

Rest is a mandate or command. It is not a simple recommendation or suggestion. The directive God has given is for my good. God Himself rested after He created the world.⁵ God (Who never tires, sleeps or slumbers⁶) rested. I believe this is because He modeled what He wants us to do.

When God gave me that Word because He knew the pressures that would come, along with the increased responsibilities. He desires to be my ever-flowing well that I run to… He’ll quench every thirst. Resting in God means I trust Him fully to supply everything that I need.

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  John 4:13-14 (NIV)

I had to make several decisions and implement immediate changes: I downloaded an exercise schedule from a trainer for working out, while also dusting off my treadmill. I bought a blood pressure cuff to monitor my BP regularly. I set up a follow-up visit with my PCP. I researched a meal delivery service that would cater to low-salt and nutritious diets. I started to seek God specifically about my schedule and what things needed to shift. Perhaps having two jobs and a business is not sustainable in this season. After all, faith without works is dead⁷ and I cannot expect God to bless my efforts if I’m sabotaging my health.

Resting, in this case, means drawing from the Well that never runs dry, the Foundation of my faith and salvation — None other than, Jesus THE Christ.

Reflective moment: How are you similar to the Samaritan woman at the well? For me, it may have been control and busyness that led me to a state of physical burnout — inaccurately depending on my reserves for the solution. What areas or things do you need to put down so that you can receive from the Well that never runs dry? Are there resources you’ve unwisely relied upon to meet the need that only God can? Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what those things are. Turn them over to God and ask for wisdom to practically align your life with His Word.

Footnotes ¹ My translation, of course. ² Found in John 4:28 NIV ³ John 4:39-42. ⁴ From Grammarly.com ⁵ Genesis 2:1-3 ⁶ Isaiah 40:28; Psalm 121:4 ⁷ James 2:17